Have you lost interest in some of the things that you normally do? Do you have a grand idea, but you’re so scared to take steps forward or take action? You are feeling stuck in your current situation and have exhausted all your resources around you. Books aren’t helping you, and your anxiety is through the roof. Everything that is holding you back in your life or business can be overcome with the help of today’s tips. You can get yourself unstuck and find what truly brings you joy in life.
Our guest on the podcast today is Certified Life Coach Sandra Daniele. She is the creator and founder of Wish on Wildflowers, Life Enhancement Coaching for Women. As a certified life coach who is recognized by the International Coaching Federation, she desires for all women to know their self-worth, trust themselves and break free from old stories and labels that hold them back from living a joyful life. Sandra works with clients one-on-one and in intimate group settings. She loves reading, spending time with family, exercising, having a good meal, and time in nature.
In this episode, Sandra and I dive into:
Have you ever woken up in the morning and asked yourself if this was as good as your life was going to get? It can’t be, right? It’s a question that Sandra thinks many women ask themselves. This very question popped up for Sandra while she was working in the corporate world. She was at a point in her life where she was craving something more and desiring more for her life. At the same time, she was going to therapy to figure out what was missing, and it’s where she realized she was telling the same story repeatedly. Things weren’t moving forward for her, and while reading a self-help book one day, she fell on this thing called life coaching.
While researching life coaching, she stumbled upon someone that she really wanted to work with. In looking for more information on their background and what made them so special, she found that they had gone through a certification process through Coaches Training Institute and then was certified through International Coaching Federation. Taking a closer look into the program, Sandra said she saw you had to hire a life coach for yourself, so that’s what she did. She hired a life coach and started the program. That’s how this journey started for her and how she is now a certified life coach helping women that feel stuck to be more energized and in their purpose.
Would you consider getting therapy and working with a life coach to be the same? It’s not actually true. There is a difference between the two. With therapy, you are looking back and going through your old stories and resolving them. With a life coach, you look at the obstacles in your current life to create an action plan for your future. Here you are today, and where do you want to be in the future? Who do you want to be now that you’ve worked through the gunk that was holding you back so that you can move into your authentic self? So many people struggle with accepting themselves and genuinely being authentic. That’s a massive part of life coaching and going deeper to figure out if you are actually presenting yourself as you are.
In Sandra’s case, she found that depending on who she was with and where she was, she could switch into any type of personality like a chameleon to fit in. This tends to happen for a lot of introverts. She was miserable, and she wasn’t honoring her values. That is where life coaching begins, in her opinion. Who are you? What do you value? How do you show up in the world using those values as a grounding space to make decisions from? From there, your life can move forward.
What is keeping you stuck in your life from the joy you desire? There are many different reasons why someone is struggling, but Sandra has had women come to her that want to start a new business, a mom with three kids who never went to college, and got her teaching credentials after going and graduating college. She has also had clients who just feel stuck, unhappy, and don’t know why. After years of churning in their own thoughts, these women come to her and realize something needs to change. They may say things like, I want to do this thing, but I just can’t. I’m full of self-doubt, and I’m not sure if I have all the skills. What this is about to Sandra is self-confidence and finding who they are as a person again. She works through their limiting beliefs and why they think they can’t do whatever they desire.
What’s interesting is, Sandra believes a lot of times what you think is holding you back is not actually what’s holding you back. You make up stories that you are too busy, tired, or it’s going to cost too much money. Really, that’s just your safety net. It’s what you keep bouncing against because it feels safe, and it’s something that you know. When you begin throwing those things to the side and acknowledging them as excuses, you can get down to what the real story is and peel back those layers to understand your limiting beliefs. For most people, Sandra says it is a real ah-ha moment.
How you work through or overcome something can be different for everyone. You have to choose your own path and what works for you. What Sandra does recommend and strongly believes in are affirmations, looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, I am beautiful, I am good, I am whole, and it’s going feel really uncomfortable, but changing the message is important. You need to change what you’re telling yourself. She also strongly believes in reading positive quotes, getting inspiration from those, listening to podcasts, and recognizing when you’re telling yourself the story. If you start going down the path of oh, I’m so awful or whatever it is for you, ask yourself, why are you so awful? What did you do that made you so awful? You are a living, breathing creature, and you make mistakes like everyone else. Not everyone does the right thing or makes the right decisions, and that’s okay. You just need to accept that as being okay.
The key with Instagram or any type of social media is not getting stuck in comparison, especially as an entrepreneur. If you find yourself following someone and you’re stuck in comparison mode or their feed doesn’t fill you up and it makes you feel less than, it’s probably best to let that person go because a lot of your self-judgment comes from comparison. You’re not like anyone else, and they aren’t like you. There is really nothing to compare because you are entirely different. That’s what makes each of us so beautiful and so unique. You need to learn to love who you are without trying to be someone else.
When you get stuck comparing yourself to others on social media, it’s like you are comparing somebody’s five-year point in business to your two-month point in business. It’s not in any way comparable. Some people can even get stuck in jealousy, or they use it as motivation. If you’re getting stuck in jealousy, you have control over your feed. You can easily unfollow them and get them out of your world. Instead of feeling jealous, look at what’s possible, look at what this person is doing and how awesome it is. When new business owners or people who have been in business for a long time get really clear on their values, it can help them decide who to follow, who not to follow, and remove some of that jealousy or the comparison. That alone won’t stop it because we’re still human, but it’s when it becomes unhealthy, and you want to give up that it’s not beneficial for you.
When you don’t know where else to look, that’s when you realize you need a life coach. You’ve done everything you know to do. You have gone through therapy, read 100 books on how to help yourself, talked to all your friends, and you still feel stuck not knowing where else to look. Maybe you are feeling anxious, depressed, lost interest in some of the things that you normally do, or maybe you just have a grand idea, but you’re so scared to take steps forward or to get into action, that’s the perfect time to search for a life coach.
Every life coach is different. There are health coaches, life coaches, business coaches, and so many other coaches that you could work with. When you start looking for one, you want to look for somebody that you resonate with. It could be their story, their energy, or their personality, but if there’s some connection between the two of you, then it could be a good fit. If that’s not the case, a good life coach will say, we’re not a good fit, and I can’t give you what you need. They should ask you key questions about what’s important to you, what your drivers are for coaching, and why. Sandra offers a complimentary curiosity call. She does that because people who have no idea what life coaching is or if they should hire a life coach can have an opportunity to have that conversation. There is nothing to lose by reaching out to a life coach because there is no commitment involved. It’s a starting place to say yes or no.
Sandra gave so many insightful tips on how to get unstuck in your life and business on this podcast episode today. She shared how her corporate career left her craving more out of life to become a certified life coach, the difference between therapy and life coaching, and what struggles are holding you back in your life and business. As well as overcoming the negative mindsets of self-judgment and criticism, the continuing cycle of comparing yourself to others online as an entrepreneur, and how to know if you need a life coach and what to look for when finding the right one for you. If you are thinking about working with Sandra, reading her blog posts, grabbing her free resources, then head over to her Wish On Wildflowers website. Don’t forget to follow her on Instagram and join her Confidently Living Your Best Life Facebook group.
If you are holding yourself back, which of Sandra’s tips will you practice to help you overcome being stuck in your life or business?
[1:22] The journey for Sandra to becoming a certified life coach and how it all stemmed from craving more out of her life
[3:28] The difference between therapy to look back at your past stories and working with a life coach to work on what’s holding you back and who you want to be now
[6:23] The types of clients that Sandra typically works with, what they struggle with, and working on improving those things so they can enjoy life
[8:34] What is actually holding you back in life and/or business and working on your negative mindset
[11:32] How to overcome and get out of your self-judgment and criticism mindset
[14:18] Comparing your story to other entrepreneurs on social media and learning to love what makes you different
[24:06] How to know if you should work with a life coach, and how to find the right life coach for you
[29:28] How Sandra works with her clients and how you can connect with her
If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @introvertcoach and tell me your biggest takeaway!
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